The Importance of Intonation in the Chinese Language

I was on my way to assume my position as Sultan Horn (i.e. going back home, JB) and chatting with my mother in Mandarin. The topic was changed to that of our neighbour. Umma was telling me how our neighbour recently got an auto door, which is made of stainless steel.

"XX (our neighbour) 最近做了钢门"

For our non-Chinese friends, the sentence in hanyupinyin, with intonation, goes:

"XX zui4 jin4 zuo4 le gang4 men2"

The "le" has no intonation because it is meant to be a soft sound. Anyway, the sentence literally means "xx (our neighbour) recently made/ordered someone to make a stainless steel door". However, my dear mother who usually speaks impeccable Mandarin got her intonation wrong for one key word -- "gang". Instead of saying "gang4", she said "gang1", hence:

"XX zui4 jin4 zuo4 le gang1 men2"

In Mandarin:
"XX 最近做了肛门"

This unfortunately becomes "XX recently had plastic surgery performed on his anus". Yes, ladies and gentlemen, ANUS. As yall should well know by now, being the kind soul I am who believes firmly in proper education, I pointed out the mistake to my mother:

"做鼻子，双眼皮，酒窝，下巴，我都有听说过。可是肛门倒是第一次。他是到哪儿做整型手术的？"

Translation:
"I've heard of plastic surgery done on the nose, for double eyelids, for dimples, and on the chin. But this is the first time I've heard of plastic surgery done on the anus. Where did he go to get the plastic surgery done?"

Ladies, you know.. If you're gonna spend your money on plastic surgery, please choose a nice body part. Like personally, I wouldn't mind a nice set of chest or long shapely toned legs or a nice perky butt. But then again, if your boyfriend likes your anus done... Well, whatever rocks his boat.

--horn--